


Two Types of Clotpole

by prongsandthedoe



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-10
Updated: 2015-08-10
Packaged: 2018-04-14 01:34:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 714
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4545135
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/prongsandthedoe/pseuds/prongsandthedoe
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Arthur wakes up with a boner and Merlin realises before he does.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Two Types of Clotpole

**Author's Note:**

> This was inspired by a conversation on twitter. So thanks Kenny and Jess!

“Rise and shine, your pratgesty!”

Arthur woke up slowly as the light from the just drawn curtains filtered harshly into the room. He was lying on his back, legs splayed across the double bed and his arms thrown haphazardly above him. One of them, the one resting under the full weight of his head which, as Merlin liked to fondly tell him, was bigger than his ego, was now dead weight. Arthur opened his eyes to see the duvet hanging by dear life to his bed. With a kick, it fell to the floor with a soft thump.

“Gaius has been in my ear all morning about your meeting later, so come on!” Arthur could hear Merlin tapping his foot and could imagine him standing there, arms crossed and pretending to be annoyed. “Oi, cloptpole, your clotpole is up before you.”

There was silence for a second whilst Arthur worked out exactly what Merlin had meant and then, with a sleep ridden growl, he yanked a pillow from beneath his head and threw in a perfect arc towards Merlin. The plan worked perfectly, of course it did; except, well, it didn’t. Forgetting to factor in his dead arm meant his well thought out action ended in a violent tumble to the ground. 

“Throwing things isn’t the way to get rid of it, Arthur.” Merlin scolded him as he climbed back onto the bed and tried to hide his boner as best as he could with limited resources. “Did Uther teach you nothing?” Both made a face at the comment.

“Merlin?” The King asked, his face burning as hot as last night’s fire.

“Yes?”

Arthur looked him dead in the eye with a look that sent timid maidservants fainting in fear. “Get. Out. Now.”

Merlin paused and considered the option and Arthur watched the thought running across his face as he toyed with it. 

“You see, I could,” he began, and Arthur’s face relaxed. “I could leave you in peace to finish yourself off.” He grabbed a handful of grapes and began to toss them into his mouth, catching two and letting the rest fall to the ground when he missed them. “But I want to know who the unfortunate girl is.”

“I-“ Arthur began to protest, “what?”

Merlin sighed. “You know, the girl in your dream.” He nodded at Arthur’s crotch.

Arthur looked away, his face inflamed, and he mumbled something incoherent into his three remaining pillows.

“Hmmm?”

Suddenly remembering his birth status, Arthur sat up and drew a deep, regal breath. “For your information, Merlin, it was not a woman. Now leave.”

“Oh. OH.” Merlin took a step back in shock, treading on a few grapes in the process. “I thought I’d have to have this conversation with Gwaine, but never with you! The castle dog is not to be shagged. Ever. No matter how needy you get.”

Arthur’s face formed a look of disgust as he threw another pillow at his manservant. “You disgusting commoner of course I wasn’t dreaming about the dog. It was a man. Now, if you don’t mind, please leave now.”

“A man?” Merlin blanched and his heart started to pound in his chest. “Anyone, uh, anyone in particular? That I would know?”

“Perhaps,” Arthur gritted out as he shifted around once more.

The room was heavy with the silence of unsaid words, and Arthur knew exactly what Merlin would have said. “It’s natural, you know. I know they say it’s not, but there’s nothing wrong with me. I do dream about girls, too.”

“No!” Merlin’s eyes widened as he tried to find the words to reassure Arthur. “No, no, I wasn’t going to say that!”

Arthur looked around the room, his eyes darting from object to object, touching everything except Merlin. “No?” They stilled for a second.

“No.” Merlin replied firmly. “I, uh, actually have been having similar dreams.” He switched his weight from one foot to the other. “About a man.”

Arthur stayed silent but his hands gripped the bedsheet.

“A great man, actually,” Merlin admitted. “But I’d never tell him that. He already has an ego bigger than Camelot.”

“It was you,” Arthur blurted out and they stared at each other for seconds, minutes, hours, trying to read one another’s reactions. 

“Good,” Merlin croaked out.


End file.
